My name is Angel, I am a Zambian girl aged 14.  My story begins – living in a home without a dad at the age of 10.  I started to feel the impact when my dad went to live in America.  He lived there for about 1 year 2 months.  I and my mum couldn’t get a visa; the embassy told us that we could only get the visa to America when my dad was back.  After 1 year 2 months he came back to Zambia.  I was so happy to see him and have him around!  With me not knowing anything my most adorable dad had completely changed.  His behaviour, attitude, and way of life had completely changed.  He had developed behaviour of drinking every day, he didn’t want to do anything.

All the time he would get a job, he would say I can’t work because they are paying me nothing.  My mum would remind him that this is Zambia, he knew how much people got paid, but he wouldn’t listen.  Can you imagine that he would start drinking as early as 8am!  My mum is getting ready for work while he gets ready to go to the bar.  It wasn’t easy for mum because she had to be the man and the woman of the house at the same time.  Time went by and I had a young brother who was born on 11^th July 2003 and I love him very much and always will.  After his birth problems began.  I saw my baby brother being born.  I was there because there was no older person to be with my mum, not even my dad.  She had an operation and my dad wouldn’t be with her, he would leave me and go to drink.  Since my mum had an elective caesarean section she needed things to use for cleaning the wound and so she gave my dad money to buy the stuff.  Guess what? He drank all of it.

With my dad not being there to help out, all the baby’s napkins were dirty.  I had to wash and iron them cause my mum couldn’t do it cause she was still in hospital.  After some time she was discharged.  She used to do business of buying and selling things.  My dad still didn’t want to get a job.  My mum kept on with what she was doing.  When my brother was a year and three months old my mum got a job with a vegetarian café.  Life became a bit better, but it was kind of tricky cause mum had to go for work so meaning my mum had to get a maid.  But to our disappointment none of the maids would stay for a week; they all used to leave because my dad would make advances to them.  When Mark, my brother, was 3 years old, my mum was forced to put him in pre-school, all because here was no-one to take care of him.  Don’t’ get me wrong, I love my dad very much.  When I was Mark’s age he looked after me while mum was working.  Do you know how it feels when someone you love is doing something wrong?  You just can’t get them out of your life.  I can’t choose.  He is my father and nothing can change that.  As a girl I think that was a big challenge.  I always used to try and tell him that what he was doing was wrong, but he would always say there is nothing I know and there is nothing I can tell him.  It is very good to know the difference between right and wrong.

In my heart I started thinking how many young girls or maids are being bothered by men who just want to use them.  I’ve decided to break the silence and speak out.  Any man who tries to advance and use me, I say NO!

In 2008, the situation got worse.  My mum decided to go to YWCA so they could help with dad’s case.  He said she was a bitch; she used to ask “show me the men I am bitching around with” but he had no proof because it was all a lie.  He sometimes used to say he’s not our father, which would hurt me so bad cause that would make me think if he isn’t my dad then who is?  One day my brother asked what DNA was.  He said dad told him he would take him for a DNA test.  Mum asked him what was telling Mark.  He said he didn’t know what he was talking about because he was drunk.  He was still not working, but drinking a lot which meant no peace in the home.  YWCA advised my mum to go to the legal clinic.  They started processing divorce papers.  To my shock, dad signed the papers without objection, unbelievable!  The divorce papers delayed so my mum said that they should just separate cause the situation was getting worse.  This was the same time I was writing my Grade 7 exams.  I couldn’t study cause there were fights every day.  We sometimes used to go to the police as late as 2am.  He would lock us out of the house; this wasn’t a good transition.  It was so depressing.  Once I told my mum I would run away because there were so many fights.

Once he came home with spirits and was drinking them in our presence then started insulting us.  I tried to tell him he was wrong.  He got annoyed and threatened to beat me.  I was scared but my mum told him off cause we was warned by pastor many times about his behaviour and that if he continued with being abusive he would be chased, cause we live at a mission house.  This pastor has helped us so much.  He has helped me stand firm and not be shaken by anything.

At this time we had to face reality.  The pastor said it was time for him to go and this was final.  There was noise in the yard.  He insulted everyone.  One of the people went to the police and reported him.  Thereafter, the police came to the house and arrested him.  It was a sad sight seeing him being taken away, but I think it was for the better cause we really needed peace at the time.  He was locked up.  The following day mum was asked to go to the cop-shop; dad was still insulting.  The police told him it was time for him to go his own way.  My mum was told to bring his belongings to the cop-shop so she did.  He was told never to enter that yard again or else he would be arrested, so if he wanted to see me and my brother he had to see us outside the gate. It was painful but what could I have done.  So that’s how he was taken out of our lives.  Me, my mum and my brother do muss him very much but there is not much I can do.  As a girl there is a lot I am going through, but with God’s help I want to make sure I achieve my dreams of becoming a journalist so I can expose some of the dirty things happening in society.  I wish all girls can believe in themselves.  The things surrounding them should not discourage them cause we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.